I Was Told I'm Too Slow But How I Reacted Surprised Even Me...

Maybe it's premature evaluation but honestly, I thought I'd perform better.

You see, after 12 years of being self-employed, it took more time than I thought to get adjusted.

(I'm not going to use the word funemployed because that word is just delulu until they run out of funds for their fun)

First, getting adjusted to fixed working hours but not making any progress is weird.

Like, I start the day already with a backlog of work (like most jobs). And even though I clear as much as I can, at the end of the day, there's more stuff to do because more tasks got added along the way.

Second, I realise my brain doesn't hold onto temporary data as well as it used to.

In my younger days, I could hold a lot of info and I'll be able to key that data in perfectly.

Now? No way.

My reality is copy-and-paste, opening 30 tabs, reopening 7 same tabs because I forgot I just opened it 16 seconds ago.

And on my 4th day at work, it happened: I was told that I was too slow.

I think I'm mostly a chill and mellow guy but when people make certain statements about me, I tend to get quick tempered.

However, when I received this judgement, I accepted it calmly.

This surprised me --- younger Asher would have shot back or swallowed the frustration only to vent it out later.

Maybe it's wisdom coming with age. Or maybe I knew that I was being cautious, still learning my way around.

So, instead of rushing to defend myself (younger me would have said "I'll get to it in 3 days time"), I negotiated.

I asked for more time to adjust and they agreed.

But here's where I learned something else about myself: I was slow partly because I didn't ask for help fast enough.

Old habits die hard.

Being self-employed for over a decade, I'm (still) wired to figure things alone. But in this new environment, I'm surrounded by people with years of experience, and I'm hesitating to tap into that gold mine.

I'd watch them zoom around the office, fingers flying across keyboards, diving into impromptu meetings with their laptops, and think "I shouldn't bother them."

But looking back on these past 3 days, I see the irony: I'd be a better colleague if I'd just asked for help sooner.

Could've cleared the backlog faster. Worked smarter, not harder.

Here's the lesson I'm taking forward

Don't get it? Ask.

Figuring things out alone isn't always a strength; sometimes, it's just unnecessary struggle.

If you're stepping into a new role or environment, take a moment to consider: What's different now? What resources - more importantly, which people - are around me?

Growth doesn't happen in isolation.

I can choose to be buried in work, or I can be planted – surrounded by the right support and nourishment to truly grow.

Ask. Learn. Grow.