Do You Want to Keep Him Alive?

August 28, 20252 min read72

"Do you want to keep him alive?" is a question I never thought I'd have to answer.

And no amount of House M.D. prepped me for it.

But before that, allow me to rewind time a bit.

August 3, Sunday.

I had just finished the Drama Fest 2025.

Volunteers stepped into new roles, people rose to the occasion, and I had the privilege of directing one of the plays. It wasn't perfect, but it was beautiful. I thought my reflections that week would be about creativity, ownership, and teamwork.

Instead, life flipped the script.

The following week, my brother, who had been coughing for weeks and losing weight, was admitted to the hospital.

Soon, the doctors noticed bruises and suspected abuse. The police were called, I had to give my statement, my caregiver was barred from visiting him, and all the while we still had to pay both the caregiver and the hospital bills.

Then came the hardest moment: the D.N.R. - Do Not Resuscitate - conversation.

Typing those words is easy.

Hearing them from the doctor - knowing I was expected to decide - carried an emotional weight I couldn't bear alone. I needed my family's input.

Fast forward to now

He was discharged yesterday.

At just 37, my brother now has to live with a feeding tube. He may never get to eat food again. Feeding him now takes longer, costs more, and the work of caregiving has grown heavier.

On paper, from the time he was admitted until now - I kept moving.

I taught an A.I. class to 136 students, attended workshops, celebrated birthdays, showed up for friends & family.

But inside, I felt like a hamster in a wheel: running endlessly, the water stale, the sunflower seeds slowly depleting, a quiet reminder that resources and energy aren't infinite.